I am now 23. 23 on the 23rd. Someone said it is my Golden Birthday. The night before my birthday, I dreamt of my daddy. He said he was proud of me and that he loved me. It was sweet yet still sad because in my dream, he was sick. I remember crying so much in my dream. Crying because I couldn't save him and because he was so so sick. I wanted him to feel better. I was so much a child in just wanting him to feel better. Next month will be my 1 year Anniversary with Jonathan and I am extremely excited! It will also be the 3 year Anniversary of the death of my Dad. I know he would want me to be rejoicing. It is a wonderful thing that he is with God. Wonderful.

For my birthday we went to the Boardwalk in Shreveport. It rained a little and the power went out half of the stores. But, the electricity came back on shortly and I had a lot of fun walking around and looking at stuff. Some great bargins and a wonderful meal were bought along with some precious memories to take home.

So, my 23 year old self...what have I been up to? You know people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I don't understand that. Our first year has been more than what I could have dreamed of. I adore him. Maybe it's the second year that is the hardest.*shrug* My oldest brother is engaged now. So all that is left is Daisy and Sam and hopefully that is years away. *smile* I really love my family. I feel very blessed to have the family that I have.

I work at a lawyers office and it is very very different. At the end of the day, I look forward to going home and relaxing and my boss goes out to party till wee in the morning. Isn't that backwards? I have gone back and forth about liking my job and have not once settled on one opinion. This job is comfortable in that I am not stressed with tons of work, if I need off for any reason...more than likely it will be fine, I get to wear comfy clothes to work, and I am not stressed with tons of work. *smile* But I think at times I really miss people. No, that's not it, I miss smiling and brightening up someones day. I can't do that here. Divorce and Criminal matters cloud over any ray of happiness. Though I do miss Starbucks at times, I am very thankful to not be there at this moment in life.

Jonathan is getting back involved with Choir and I am not. *chuckle* But we are going on Wednesdays and I really enjoy that. We want to be more involved and are slowly getting there.

We are going to have Spaghetti tonight with some garlic bread. Sounds good yeah? I'm hungry and our spaghetti is amazing! We love us some garlic...

God is so good!

I had the opportunity to be a leader for Disciple Now at church. It was interesting, exhausting, challenging, and a blessing. It was an awesome reminder to me that God has used me despite my flaws, my weaknesses, and my failures. Seeing people stand up and talk about how God had spoken to them was inspirational and encouraging. Girls that I have gotten to know through the years and guys that have grown into men and women of the Lord. It is such goodness....such a beautiful sight.

Work is going well. Sometimes it can weigh heavy on me. I try to be positive and bring a lot of energy to the store. Sometimes it isn't received well by  a couple of people I work with. I feel like I have to be on call 24/7 and that when I say no to a shift or something that I am a horrible person. But I do enjoy my job immensely and most always leave after having a great time. I love that customers open up to us and I get to be a part of their lives. That, my friend, is such a beautiful feeling.

Not too long ago, God said to let go. It was heartbreaking. Not just the letting go part, but the fact I had become so twisted in what was not of Him that He had to break me. I do love to be broken. To fall to such a vulnerable place that only God can pick me back up. When He lifts me up, it is such an amazing experience. Some people removed from my life, some people put into a different place in my life, and my focus redirected.

I started going to Mobberly's Choir. I do love to sing. Though they aren't songs that I would normally sing and I don't care for the structure... I have enjoyed listening to people and the fellowship. I needed the fellowship desperately. God placed someone in my life there too. Momma always said I would meet someone at church. I'm sure she will take all the credit for Jonathan's and my relationship. *chuckle* I am so blessed by God to have him in my life. He is wonderful. (I could go on and on but I will spare you)

"I stand and lift up my hands, for the joy of the Lord is my strength! I bow down, and worship Him now, how great, how awesome is He!"